YTSEJAM Digest 4594
Today's Topics:
1) Re: Keys to growing etc.
by Chris Oates <coates@objectivity.com>
2) Black Adder II
by IceQD@aol.com
3) Get the funk out
by "Brian D. Hayden" <hayd0029@tc.umn.edu>
4) Band Members
by Paul Weiss <paulw@bass.org>
5) Geez...
by Christopher Ptacek <someone@enteract.com>
6) Ice Queen Comes Clean
by IceQD@aol.com
7) Finally a video for us progressive keyboardists!!!
by "Jonathan Roberts" <robertsj@ptdprolog.net>
8) One More Thing .....
by IceQD@aol.com
9) Hmmm...
by Christopher Ptacek <someone@enteract.com>
10) Derek, and the new DT/LTE in Philly 1/22!
by WaterIce25@aol.com
11) derek/jordan
by "Merlo, Christopher" <ChristopherMerlo@Waterhouse.com>
12) Fwd: Fw: Great comebacks
by liquidrich@webtv.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 10:29:56 -0800
From: Chris Oates <coates@objectivity.com>
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Re: Keys to growing etc.
Message-ID: <3.0.32.19990120102955.00baa5c0@objypop>
Mojoman Said:
>But, lets just
>say that Dream Theater drove down prog street when they recorded WDADU, I&W
>and Awake. Let's also say that Dream Theater drove down semi-prog street
>during the recording of FII.
Except that in many people's eyes (such as mine) FII was more progressive
than Awake. To me Awake was a metal album with some proggy parts, FII was
a prog album with a more commercial sound. (look at which adjectives are
first vs second to see my point) -- And have we seen relative numbers in
terms of which album was more "successful" in terms of FII vs I&W? I think
there's been a lot of bad-mouthing FII because some people don't like it.
I happen to think it was a much stronger album than Awake in nearly every
respect. Yes, I do like I&W more, but I think that FII was much more in
that vein than Awake was.
Please stop treating your opinions as facts.
~Chris
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 13:49:06 EST
From: IceQD@aol.com
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Black Adder II
Message-ID: <d798c9d9.36a62522@aol.com>
I wrote:
>Who's Queen?
>
Brian wrote:
>I think...maybe...just maybe...
>
>that's the single most pathetic thing I've ever read. etc etc
Have you never seen the Black Adder II series in the USA? 'Who's Queen' is
the catchphrase of Queen Elizabeth I (played by Miranda Richardson), always
said in a very high pitched silly voice ........
Freezframe wrote
>> Thanks for all the contributions! Who's Queen?
>
>Nikki Brooks is, that's who. Shut the fuck up Nikki, would you?
Well I beg to differ because she ISN'T the only Dream Theater fan in the UK.
There are loads of us believe it or not ........
;-)
Ice
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 13:12:52 -0600
From: "Brian D. Hayden" <hayd0029@tc.umn.edu>
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Get the funk out
Message-ID: <36a62ab264ad003@mhub1.tc.umn.edu>
Responding to the message of <d798c9d9.36a62522@aol.com>
from ytsejam@ax.com:
> Have you never seen the Black Adder II series in the USA? 'Who's Queen' is
> the catchphrase of Queen Elizabeth I (played by Miranda Richardson), always
> said in a very high pitched silly voice ........
That's nice. I don't give a fuck, though, because what I was calling pathetic
was your attempted backtracking from your "women in music research" bullshit.
And here you go trying to twist away again. Do you really think people are so
stupid? I think I can safely speak for at least 99% of us in saying that you're
acting like a twelve year old, and if we wanted to hear from twelve year old
idiots, we'd go to one who at least provides entertainment (mpm? you
available?).
Get a life and get lost.
-Brian
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 14:24:20 -0500 (EST)
From: Paul Weiss <paulw@bass.org>
To: "Ytse 'The Jam' Ventura" <ytsejam@axnet.net>
Subject: Band Members
Message-ID: <Pine.BSI.3.95.990120140041.14006A-100000@gs.bass.org>
After reading the last post by Mr. Gallop and currently nursing a
throbbing headache by ROTFL, I decided to throw another thought to the
populace of this list.
Interesting, isn't it, how nearly all of the members of DT now have the
first initial of "J" [sure, James is really Kevin, but he's still listed
as James on the liner notes]? Mike should change his name to Jack or
something to keep the group together, otherwise they'll seek another
drummer.
You never know...
And as to the "Dairy Queen's" laziness, that was evident from the get-go.
P
NP Howard Jones: People
Roy Harper [Hat's off]: HQ
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul's musical quote for the Month:
War Child/ Victim of political pride/ Plant the seed/ Territorial greed/
Mind the War Child/ We should mind the War Child
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 13:28:53 -0600 (CST)
From: Christopher Ptacek <someone@enteract.com>
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Geez...
Message-ID: <199901201928.NAA10641@adam.enteract.com>
Okay, I was totally shocked, just like everyone else, even though
many of us knew that the guys aren't always good buddies. Derek
redefined, IMO what a keyboardist's position COULD be in a live situation,
and on albums. There is NO denying that he was great at sounds, and he
certainly has chops. I am very interested in seeing which direction he'll
go now. Clearly being in DT was a good career move for him, if not for
money, for name recognition.
I am in line with Korg on this one 100%. I don't buy that Derek
just up and left. I however, don't think it's ours to demand an answer...
it would be great to know the true story, and I am sure Derek will say
something eventually to someone (whether that ends up being the true deal
or not) but I wouldn't expect an answer from the guys. I wouldn't be
surprised if it was a direct result of LTE.
I am a big Ruddess fan, and I don't think this will be a BAD thing
for DT, but I think it's the end of the heavy distorted key sound and all
of the other stuff that took the focus off JP. Ruddess, as someone else
mentioned is much lighter in most of the past things I've heard him on.
The chunk will all probably be produced by JP. I am expecting that the
chops will be sicker on the new album, but that FII will be the best DT
album, IMO forever. I got bored of LTE (great as it was) pretty quickly.
I guess this is sort of a lesson to you guys how unstable the
whole band situation is. Everyone has a side project, and the whole DT
thing may just fizzle out (at least in this incarnation) at any moment.
I'm very dissappointed that Derek isn't in the band anymore, but now I'll
have his albums to buy AND DT's albums to buy.
Finally, a couple of you folks are pissing me off more than I can
hide. Hotmail should be banned from this list, because it seems to be
where you people breed. If you don't like Derek, that's fine. To call
him a prick, or to say that he's "a fag" (I agree with CowGod... how would
sexuality be relevant at all??? Besides... he gets more women than you
ever will) is the height of immaturity. I will do whatever I can to see
that Skadz is made aware of bullshit posts like that. Those of you who
have to stoop to that level are what kills this list. EVERY member of DT
except Myung has been on record acting like a fuckball at one point or
another. They're all human, and are all prone to be shitheads
eventually... why don't you guys ever call them "pricks"? The internet is
totally the ultimate mask for cowards to hide behind.
David Dixon:
> sound I have ever heard, and I think it fit DT's music incredibly well.
> BTW, has anyone noticed the similarities between Jens Johansson's sound on
> SV's 'Visions' and Derek's sound on OiaLT and FII? Very weird - Jens sounds
> like he's trying to fucking copy Derek (and he doesn't do it very well,
> IMHO).
Apparently you're not familiar with Korg products. Just having a
sound similar to Derek's doesn't mean that he's trying to be Derek. I
wonder how closely you are listening though... I couldn't think of two
more profoundly different rock keyboardists if I tried.
- Chris
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 14:50:52 EST
From: IceQD@aol.com
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Ice Queen Comes Clean
Message-ID: <88cae065.36a6339c@aol.com>
OK so here's who I am IF any one is REMOTELY interested.
My nickname has been Ice Queen since Black Adder II was first on TV over here
in the UK. The reason is because I was always using the catchphrase 'Who's
Queen?' It used to follow me everywhere so I answered it with " I is Queen!"
If you run the words I IS QUEEN together quickly you get Ice Queen.
I am 5' 10" tall and I have red crinkly hair. At school I used to get called
Queen Elizabeth 1 because I also have big blue eyes like an Elizabethan
painting.
I love Dream Theater which is why I am on this list, but I got to hear them
through a boyfriend. I don't play any instruments at all and I really can't
sing either, so thanks for all the information. I suppose you could call me
immature because I am only 21, but hey, that's old enough to DRINK in America.
I am a bit of a joker by nature because I think 'life is a joke, you either
get it or you don't'. After watching you guys I thought I would have a little
fun but, holy shit, I've been replaced by Derek, damn his beautiful eyes!!!!
I don't think he would ever fancy me though, because he likes blondes ;-(
Oh well ......
Merry Christmas
Ice
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1999 14:54:38 -0500
From: "Jonathan Roberts" <robertsj@ptdprolog.net>
To: <ytsejam@axnet.net>
Subject: Finally a video for us progressive keyboardists!!!
Message-ID: <002101be4577$e174b720$1a24bacc@jon-s-tube>
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
------=_NextPart_000_001E_01BE454D.F7CC1CE0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Hey all!
Hail to DT, masters of all.
I don't know how many other keyboardists are on this list(I'm figuring =
mostly bass, gtr and drummers) but let me ask you something...
Isn't it annoying that there are tons of great instructional videos for =
everyone else (other instruments) except for us?
True there may be some exceptions, but for the most part you know what I =
mean.
Anyway, I was just adding Jordan's site to my favorites, and I noticed =
he has an instructional video coming out this month! I checked out the =
clips, and holy unbelievable! It is going to be fantastic.
Finally!
Has anyone else found a worthwhile instructional video that I should add =
to my collection?
(not how to play a c chord and scales) the real good stuff.
Modes and their uses, soloing over changes, advanced theory etc....
Well anyway, I'm buying that JorRud video ASA it comes out. YEAH =
BABY!!!!
A very pleased Progressive 'Boardist
Jon
------=_NextPart_000_001E_01BE454D.F7CC1CE0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD W3 HTML//EN">
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<META content=3Dtext/html;charset=3Diso-8859-1 =
http-equiv=3DContent-Type>
<META content=3D'"MSHTML 4.72.2106.6"' name=3DGENERATOR>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#e0e0ff>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2>Hey all!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2>Hail to DT, masters of =
all.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>I don't know how many other keyboardists are on this =
list(I'm=20
figuring mostly bass, gtr and drummers) but let me ask you=20
something...</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Isn't it annoying that there are tons of great =
instructional=20
videos for everyone else (other instruments) except for us?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>True there may be some exceptions, but for the most =
part you=20
know what I mean.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Anyway, I was just adding Jordan's site to my =
favorites, and I=20
noticed he has an instructional video coming out this month! I checked =
out the=20
clips, and holy unbelievable! It is going to be =
fantastic.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Finally!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Has anyone else found a worthwhile instructional =
video that I=20
should add to my collection?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>(not how to play a c chord and scales) the real good =
stuff.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Modes and their uses, soloing over changes, advanced =
theory=20
etc....</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Well anyway, I'm buying that JorRud video ASA it =
comes=20
out. YEAH BABY!!!!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>A very pleased Progressive 'Boardist</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Jon</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_000_001E_01BE454D.F7CC1CE0--
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 15:09:36 EST
From: IceQD@aol.com
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: One More Thing .....
Message-ID: <73127b67.36a63800@aol.com>
I also have to admit that there are several people writing to the list from
this address.
So you never know what we're gonna come up with next and neither do we for
that matter!
Ice
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 14:47:27 -0600 (CST)
From: Christopher Ptacek <someone@enteract.com>
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Hmmm...
Message-ID: <199901202047.OAA06360@adam.enteract.com>
To Anyone who is looking to buy that Lie Single for $100,
MAIL ME FIRST. I would like to do anything I can to help STOP
people from SCREWING YTSEJAMMERS. $100 is BULLSHIT for a cd you buy for a
single track. I would be happy to discuss some arrangement (CDR, MP3,
etc) as an alternative for money grubbers! Mike Bahr even sold his spare
copies of the Lie single for $25. Puts things in perspective, I suppose.
In other news, is it just me or does anyone else think that this
will actually have a huge POSITIVE impact on the sales of "The Rudess
Experiment"? That's the first bootleg I've been considering BUYING in
years. I still probably won't... but there's the first possible preview
of a Rudess laden DT.
Last and certainly least, I have to admit, I feel stupified for
being tricked into doing DairyQueen's work for her... to think... all this
time, her plan was to get a dozen or two jammers to name all of their
favorite femme musicians! What a criminal mastermind! Sure, "She's just
saying that to cover her ass, because buttocks tend to get sore when one
has no leg to stand on!" some of you say... but I disagree. After reading
some of her fine writings (I was informed last week that she was THE Nikki
Brooks... my jaw hit the floor, as I realized the caliber of human being I
was up against) I am certain that I owe you all an apology. To think,
someone of my meager and narrow musical interest and exposure, arguing
with someone who has accomplished SO MUCH in the music business... I am
ashamed. May Jens' mystical plumber forgive me.
- Chris
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 15:47:33 EST
From: WaterIce25@aol.com
To: ytsejam@axnet.net
Subject: Derek, and the new DT/LTE in Philly 1/22!
Message-ID: <f494966c.36a640e5@aol.com>
Dear Ytsejam members,
I never post, and i just sit here and usually enjoy the stuff that i read.
But i have to say that it is a little bothersome to hear people bash Derek so
much. Maybe he appeared to be a little bit odd or even a misfit on the stage,
but that was how he was prior to joining the band with his provious gigs. DT
knew what they were getting. Obviously JR was their initial choice, but he
had family committments at the time. How many keyboardests could have stepped
in at the time DS did and perform the way he did? I saw DT 4 times this year,
and i must say that DS was just as tight as the rest of the band. Did i like
FII as much as the other albums? No. I love the album immensely, but let's
look at each member's performance on that album. I think everyone (except for
Myung) was subpar or less progressive compared to previous albums. Even JLB
didn't let loose with those high vibratos. Now in looking at FII; NM, LITS,
and ToT are my favorite songs. All songs with high DT input. In fact their 3
of my favorite all-time DT songs. Thank you Derek for your contributions. Do
i like you as much KM? Not quite. JR appears to be more suitable and
talented for DT, but we haven't heard the album yet. My feeling is that he
will indeed add much to the album. Maybe DT as a whole was a little "stale"
with their creativity in the making of FII. Maybe they write music that would
'sell." Who knows? We can't blame the (imho) subpar performance on Derek.
It's not fair to him, and it leaves the rest of the band unaccountable for
their efforts.
I have an idea on how DT could make it high on the Charts. Why don't they
just do a couple 3 or 4 minute remakes of something that would "sell?" Bands
that suck royally do it all the time, and nobody does remakes better than dt
that i've ever heard including the vocals.
Finally, it is my honor to be attending the Jan 22 LTE show in Philly and help
welcome JR to the DT family. Can't wait for 28 minute warning. Peace Chris
sorry so long, but please cut me some slack. I haven't posted in over 6
months.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 13:20:29 -0500
From: "Merlo, Christopher" <ChristopherMerlo@Waterhouse.com>
To: "'ytsejam@ax.com'" <ytsejam@axnet.net>
Subject: derek/jordan
Message-ID: <2F7208E0A680D111A09B0060B0582BBC0134FEAA@usgront5.waterhouse.com>
Hmm... a curious situation we find ourselves in now, isn't it? OFB has
already weathered two serious lineup changes, so why should this one be any
different? But it is, and we all know it is. Somehow, intangibly,
imperceptibly, this one's different. Here's my thoughts, for anyone that
should care.
First of all, this is the first lineup change that has not involved a
founding member of the band. When Kevin left the band, we all felt that
collective kick in the gut. To many of us, Kevin helped define the sound of
DT more than anyone else -- or, more accurately, his absence drew our
attention immediately to what it is we love about Dream Theater. DT without
Kevin, and Kevin without DT, both failed to sound like DT to a lot of
people. By comparison, you can listen to Working Man and "feel the Dream
Theater-ness" in Mike's tracks, for whatever that's worth. The same is true
listening to JP riff away at a guitar clinic. (I haven't heard enough of
JLB or JM on their own to say whether the analogy holds there or not.) But
*something* changed when Derek joined the band.
Secondly, when Kevin and Charlie left, the band lost a Long Islander for an
outsider. Very talented, creative ousiders, who happen to be great guys and
work well with the remaining original members -- but still, there was a
piece of the DT magic missing. Maybe most of you didn't feel this as
strongly as I did, or even at all, but we Long Islanders feel these things,
almost as a rift in The Force or something. In this sense, replacing Derek
with Jordan is ok, because Jordan at least spent his formative years in the
New York area.
I think the biggest change, however, is stylistic. Derek's a great
keyboardist and a great showman, but I don't think I'm alone when I say that
he just didn't fit into DT. I happen to love FII. I think it's a
great-sounding album with some magical songs on it. But let's call a spade
a spade now. Trial Of Tears and Lines in the Sand notwithstanding, there's
no Metropolis, no Scarred, no Learning to Live on that disc. (That's just
my nipple, and you may think I'm wrong, but that's a debate for another
day.) Of course, we all know what Jordan is capable of, from the LTE discs,
from the RMP disc, and from RMP's opening slots for DT shows. Jordan's a
much more "progressive" player than Derek.
There's also the showmanship factor to consider. Derek is very emotive on
stage, which is great, but it always seemed -- to me, anyway -- a little out
of place, especially since he seemed to be more "into" the music than James.
Now, I'm not trying to imply that James isn't into the music, or anything
like that at all, so put the torches away. I'm just saying that when the
keyboard player makes more of a show than the singer, it's a little
unsettling, that's all. Jordan is quite a bit more reserved on stage.
Oh, hell, I'll just come out and say it. Jordan is more like Kevin. And
thank Ged for it. I miss Kevin, and I'm glad that Jordan's in Dream
Theater.
And yet, there's another side to this coin. First, Derek has put four years
into this band, trying as hard as he could -- and succeeding, for the most
part -- to make it a cohesive unit. In some ways, the band has to start
over again, again. It might take some time for everyone to gel. But that's
not what's getting to me.
There's something that bugs me about this whole change. I was thinking
about it over breakfast this morning, and all of a sudden it hit me. All of
a sudden, I understood the argument of those who are against interleague
play in baseball. The argument goes something like this: "Without
interleague play, we are guaranteed that we will see a matchup we've never
seen before. Due to interleague play, however, a Series such as '96 was a
little less magical because the Braves and Yankees got to see a bit of each
other over the summer. That 100% surprise factor was gone. The game was
not played strictly by theory. The managers already knew a little something
about the other team's hitters and pitchers, and probably used that
knowledge to their advantage. In that sense, the games weren't all that
dissimilar from any regular-season game." Now, I'm sure most of you are
thinking "Does this really apply to DT, or is D-Man just chomping at the bit
for baseball season?" Actually, there is a parallel to be drawn to the DT
situation (and yes, I can't wait for April). The parallel is this: LTE and
portions of LTE II (which we've yet to hear) were written and recorded all
at once, due to a scarcity of together time. And the band has already
announced that the next DT album will be written and recorded the same way.
So, we already have one album of Mike, JP, and JR (and someone else) writing
and recording on the fly, with a second album on the way. The next DT album
will be Mike, JP, and JR (with two other people) writing and recording on
the fly (hopefully with the exceptions of Metropolis II and a Myung
composition). Deja vu?
I'm excited that Jordan's in the group. I can't wait to see them perform
together. But I can't help worrying that the next DT album will be LTE III
with special guests John Myung and James LaBrie. Furthermore, what does the
future hold for LTE, the Dregs, or RMP?
Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. Maybe there will be very few similarities
between LTE and DT. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut until the album
comes out. It'll be an interesting few months of speculation, that's for
sure.
Hope to see some of you at the LTE shows tomorrow and Friday. (Or is that
DT with special guest Tony Levin?)
D-Man slept here
Christopher Merlo
Waterhouse Securities, Inc., IS Production Group
Office: 201.369.8314 Fax: 201.332.5788
Pager: 888.422.0526 Text Pager: 4220526@skytel.com
#include<$HOME/.clever_tagline>
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 16:16:13 -0500 (EST)
From: liquidrich@webtv.net
To: anfel@hotmail.com, ceacct@carnival.com, claudiosousa@hotmail.com,
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Great comebacks
Message-ID: <15140-36A6479D-97@mailtod-121.bryant.webtv.net>
--WebTV-Mail-876419208-55
Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
--WebTV-Mail-876419208-55
Content-Disposition: Inline
Content-Type: Message/RFC822
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit
Received: from mailsorter-101-3.iap.bryant.webtv.net (209.240.198.99) by
postoffice-122.bryant.webtv.net; Tue, 19 Jan 1999 18:58:49 -0800 (PST)
Return-Path: <mcopper@worldnet.att.net>
Received: from mtiwmhc01.worldnet.att.net (mtiwmhc01.worldnet.att.net
[204.127.131.36]) by mailsorter-101-3.iap.bryant.webtv.net (8.8.8/ms.graham.14Aug97)
with ESMTP id SAA10012; Tue, 19 Jan 1999 18:58:49 -0800 (PST)
Received: from default ([12.77.216.21]) by mtiwmhc01.worldnet.att.net (InterMail
v03.02.07 118 124) with ESMTP id <19990120025847.FLE10824@default>
for <liquidrich@webtv.net>; Wed, 20 Jan 1999 02:58:47 +0000
Reply-To: <mcopper@worldnet.att.net>
]From: "Michael Copper" <mcopper@worldnet.att.net>
To: "Richard Copper" <liquidrich@webtv.net>
Subject: Fw: Great comebacks
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1999 21:55:26 -0600
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Priority: 3
X-Mailer: Microsoft Internet Mail 4.70.1162
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Message-Id: <19990120025847.FLE10824@default>
----------
> From: Samer Kahook <Samer.Kahook@WXSMS.com>
> To:
> Subject: FW: Great comebacks
> Date: Tuesday, January 19, 1999 6:49 AM
>
>
> > Great Comebacks
> >
> > Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those
> > stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are
> > some great comebacks!
> >
> >
> > Man: "Haven't we met before?"
> > Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
> >
> > Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
> > Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
> >
> > Man: "Is this seat empty?"
> > Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
> >
> > Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
> > Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
> >
> > Man: "Your place or mine?"
> > Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
> >
> > Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
> > Woman: "It's in the phone book."
> >
> > Man: "But I don't know your name."
> > Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
> >
> > Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
> > Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
> >
> > Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
> > Woman: "Do not Enter"
> >
> > Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
> > Woman: "Unfertilized !"
> >
> > Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar
> > for the same reason"
> > Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
> >
> > Man: "I know how to please a woman."
> > Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
> >
> > Man: "I want to give myself to you."
> > Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
> >
> > Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
> > Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
> >
> > Man: "Your body is like a temple."
> > Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
> >
> > Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
> > Woman: "Yes, but would you promise to stay there?"
> >
> >
>
--WebTV-Mail-876419208-55--
------------------------------
End of YTSEJAM Digest 4594
**************************
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Thu Apr 01 2004 - 18:09:39 EST